| Photo Source: Google :Nigeria Army women Cops Vehicle |
On the
8th of March 2020, a local radio station in Nigeria called faaji fm 106.5fm
held a program hosted by Adebanjo Odedeji, the radio presenter discussed why Ladies
in Uniform find it difficult to get married early or even find a partner.
This issue was widely received by his
audience as there were so many phone calls from Nigerian women in various
military arm sharing their experience as veterans or active service women and
finding a spouse. The program was interesting and it pointed out the reality of
the marital life of service women.
Now let
see the reasons and please note I will be speaking from African context.
1. Training& Ideology: The world see Women as weaker vessels as some will say, but in Africa Gender inequality is the order of the day, women have been look down upon. This issue affected the Military training of women, the instructors have to transform the so called delicate species into an emotionless, ruthless looking instrument of war. Members of the military are trained to be confident in themselves walking shoulders high, it has gone extreme in Africa due to past military rule in government, anyone in uniform is feared most especially in Counties like Nigeria, Somalia, Ghana, Kenya e.t.c. Obviously Women are in this force and they were trained and made to believe they are warriors not women. This led service women after training to carry that culture of pride into their life they couldn’t strike a balance between be a soldier and maintain their almost worn out Feminist life. In countries that have a history of military regime before female soldiers are feared by male in the civilian world when it comes to the issue of marriage.
2. Submission: Nigeria Military use the term Bloody Civilian for those not in the military and it’s an insult, Service women see men and women as bloody civilian so if by any means they get a spouse and he try to get bossy , the woman won’t tolerate such,the relationship is over. Most Service women are not willing to submit to any man yet want to get married this is not possible in Nigeria because of the religious and cultural norm subject women to submit completely to the husband will.
3. Law: like the Military of the world, Africa Military have stipulated time service women and men must serve before they are allowed to get married.
4. Families of their spouse: Most Africa families do not like the idea of their Son (a civilian) marrying a military woman because of the demand of her duty, the transfer from one military base to another the husband might not be able with that, the case is worst if she is in a combatant unit, their spouse family will not accept that.Although the military have provision for service women spouse in terms of posting and housing but most times , its not reliable.
5. Cowardice :Actually it not their fault, those interested in a relationship do not have enough bravado to woo a service woman, they don’t know how to deal with it, they perceive service women as another man and do not know how to kick start a relationship, and those in relationship are afraid to graduate into Marriage.
2. Submission: Nigeria Military use the term Bloody Civilian for those not in the military and it’s an insult, Service women see men and women as bloody civilian so if by any means they get a spouse and he try to get bossy , the woman won’t tolerate such,the relationship is over. Most Service women are not willing to submit to any man yet want to get married this is not possible in Nigeria because of the religious and cultural norm subject women to submit completely to the husband will.
3. Law: like the Military of the world, Africa Military have stipulated time service women and men must serve before they are allowed to get married.
4. Families of their spouse: Most Africa families do not like the idea of their Son (a civilian) marrying a military woman because of the demand of her duty, the transfer from one military base to another the husband might not be able with that, the case is worst if she is in a combatant unit, their spouse family will not accept that.Although the military have provision for service women spouse in terms of posting and housing but most times , its not reliable.
5. Cowardice :Actually it not their fault, those interested in a relationship do not have enough bravado to woo a service woman, they don’t know how to deal with it, they perceive service women as another man and do not know how to kick start a relationship, and those in relationship are afraid to graduate into Marriage.
what is the solution to all this, wait for our next post to where we bring you the antidote .
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